Learning to deal with loss is like changing a dirty diaper, it stinks – but you have to do it! And, honestly, if you don’t the baby would be removed from your care due to neglect…your mind can’t be removed from your body, but your body can backlash like hell.
Thru this grieving process I’ve definitely learned that ignoring feelings IS NOT the same as dealing with my emotions. I would say (to myself) of course I’m sad that’s normal…and then I’d try to ignore the sadness or “fix” it – shopping anyone? I didn’t even realize that I wasn’t dealing with my feelings – that’s the crazy part! I thought I was doing ok. That word “ok” – I should have known right away that I wasn’t. Over the past 2 years, I’ve gained over 25 pounds, my hair is turning white (a few strands, but still!), and just don’t feel like myself. When there is so much emotion, you do have to give yourself time to process. I understand. I need to cut myself a little slack. I’ve done that. I’m starting to deal and move on. I’m ready to get back in shape. Tackle the fear, loneliness, and yeah, depression from the loss. It’s going to be a journey. Hang on!